Leaving My Heart Out There- This One's For You!

I wouldn't be staying true to myself, and you, the readers, if I said that the last two and half weeks haven't been hard. Losing someone you love dearly is one of the toughest challenges we will face in each of our lives. The biggest struggle is to find your way through daily tasks and day to day life without them, and in that, find yourself again.

I don't say this often enough (if ever at all), but after my 3.5 mile run on the treadmill today, I stopped to consider a thought that floated into my mind… I am proud of myself. Instead of just shoving it to the back of my mind like I normally would, I embraced the feeling and oh my gosh, it's a good one! I AM PROUD OF MYSELF!

I've taken every feeling of loss, loneliness, insignificance, defeat and physical setbacks of being tired, ill, stressed and anxious and instead of shutting it all out, let myself feel. They say the only way to grieve is to truly allow yourself to do just that, be sad. Easier said than done, right? This is why so many people resort to alcohol and bad relationships or settle for a new "significant other" who isn't even right for us, to fill the voided space in our empty hearts. But a champion will take advantage of a situation like this, of feeling literally empty inside, take the hurt and the pain, feel it, endure it, allow themselves to become vulnerable and then do something with it. 

I took mine to the road. Every mile I have put in, I have left more than sweat on that treadmill. I have left small pieces of my heart, right there behind me, each and every step of every run. It would have been simple for me to grab a few beers, maybe eat a few cupcakes and drown myself in my sorrows. And truthfully, in the past, thats exactly what I would have done. All this does it create more pain and even some regret later on. Another great outcome from all this, is that I'm seeing the results, both on and off the scale. My diet has been pretty much on point which I know is a huge factor. But if I had given up on myself completely, this wouldn't be the case. 

"Two things define you: Your patience when you have nothing, and your attitude when you have everything."

Like I'm sure every single one of you has felt at some point in your life, during our darkest times, we feel like we have absolutely, nothing. When we feel this way, the moments pass slowly, your heart aches and the feeling seems to last forever. How much longer can my heart possibly take this? Turning nothing, into something, is the only way to get back into the light.

Finally, I'm seeing a glimpse of the sunshine and realizing how far I've come, both in my journey to wellness and in this battle we call, life. I'm trusting that my heart is strong, and despite everything, I will continue to keep it open, to give and receive love. That's all I can do, right?

So, today, my friends, I want you to know how proud I am of myself. I am so happy to say that. 

Keep fighting the good fight! 

With Love and Compassion,

Rachael